First Stone – Confidence

**Note: Research the names unknown to you. They have a point for being in the post.

Thor

Odin’s first son, and the greatest of all warriors, Thor was renown for his great strength and his legendary hammer –Mjolnir. Made at the command of the trickster, Loki, Mjolnir was the most feared weapon throughout the worlds of Yggdrasil.
[Thor]… would be able to strike as firmly as he wanted, whatever his aim, and the hammer would never fail, and if he threw it at something, it would never miss and never fly so far from his hand that it would not find its way back, and when he wanted, it would be so small that it could be carried inside his tunic.
However, the legendary hammer could not be wielded on Thor’s will alone.

Social Confidence

When building social relationships, I’ve noticed that one thing is needed for all new successful encounters:
Confidence.
Regardless of what Hollywood movie tells you the shy nerd gets the girl for being himself, or the introverted girl gets the hottest guy in school for being herself – Learn this:
It’s all BULLSHIT!
True, these instances do happen. However, it’s probably the work of God, fate, destiny, luck, or whatever. I wouldn’t depend on those to come through for you when it comes to meeting new people. Whether you’re meeting women, a potential new boss, or your long-lost father, CONFIDENCE in any situations shows the dominance you hold over your life. It defines you as a person who is so COMFORTABLE with everything around him, that he seems to MAKE it happen. You can pick a Marine out of a crowd, just by the way he walks, because of the confidence he EXUDES all over the place. So how do we translate our weak-ass into a confidence spewing bastard? Simple…we fake it.
Njord, you’re one hilarious bastard. You can’t fake confidence!
Yes I can! Yes.. I.. Can! (cool points if you can tell me the source; hint- movie/comedy/remake of classic)

Your mind has done something incredible with social interactions you’ve had over your lifetime. It’s detailed and analyzed each one, comparing each against each other for patterns and repetitions. Because of that, certain actions, postures, vocal tones, and words/phrases are programmed in our minds as CONFIDENT. What is confidence? It is the belief in oneself and one’s abilities. This is why you can pick the Marine out of the crowd, because he believes he’s a kick-ass man killer who has nothing to fear. Now, you may be wondering..
What exactly are the patterns for confidence?
Glad you asked:

• Good Eye Contact – Anyone who is able to HOLD the gaze of those around him automatically gains a confidence point. I had a hard time shaking someone’s hand and holding eye contact, which exuded unconfidence. Because I had no father, it was awhile before I was reprimanded on it.
• Stands Upright – This position shows you are ready to take the world on, and not try to slump through it. You command attention throughout the room, because you are not trying to shy away from it.
• Walks Broadly – Taking wide steps exudes confidence. Why? Because the subconscious mind works against you when you’re nervous or afraid. You take slower, smaller steps towards that fear. Confident people have no fear, at least not in most situations.
• Self Assured – One of the biggest ones. A confident person doesn’t give justification or reason behind every action he takes. If one makes a mistake, a confident person knows that it was just a mistake. Also, he wouldn’t respond harshly to criticism, because he knows who he is and his abilities. His short comings are not short, but actually what makes him great. He is assertive, and knows that he has a right, as a person, to be accepted for who he is. He works to make what he wants happen.

Inner Confidence

So your actions may show you’re confident, but when it comes to interactions, you still seem afraid. Remember point four above, Self-Assured. How sure of yourself you actually are will ALWAYS show in your speech. Think about how one sounds when they’re nervous or afraid. Their voice quivers; it may be too light, or too loud; Their words are confusing or they stumble over them. Even the words we use show just how confident we are. Ain’t that a bitch? The English language actually translates our emotions without us even knowing it. How do we translate our words, the most deadliest of weapons, into a confident talk?
Glad you asked:

• Self-Knowledge – Know about yourself, what you do, and why you do it. That alone will show your confidence. People ask me all the time, why do you play video games? What if I said, “Well I have nothing better to do, and it’s fun.” How do I sound? I’ll tell you..I’m excusing myself. I’m giving an excuse as to why I play video games. Now try this answer, “I like taking my mind to different places, exploring what could be called a new art medium, and soon I hope to make my own one day.” Now how does that sound? Like a reason. I know why I play video games, and why I enjoy them. If you know the reasons behind WHY you do something, you’ll always be confident in doing what you do, no matter what others may question about it.
• Self-Judgment – Again, know who you are, and the reasons behind the actions you take. Examine your personality and learn why you say “Cowabunga!” all the time. You don’t allow others to judge you, because you’re solid with who you are. You need no social approval, and you don’t compare yourself to anyone but yourself. Remember that Marine in the crowd? Now walk up to him and say, “You’re a pansy.” Now depending on his rage factor, he may kick your ass because of the insult. But honestly, it wouldn’t affect his self-confidence, because he knows he’s a BAMF. Someone says, “You think you’re the shit huh?” You look them in the eye, smile and move on. What could they possibly think?
• Self-Worth – After judging yourself, know your limitations. A confident person knows where he’s at in the world, and though he may strive to move up, he doesn’t make impossible goals (Pefectionism). He doesn’t beat himself up over his limitations or faults, he simply accepts them and moves on, or works to improve them. Fears are not a problem, because fear causes unconfidence. Everyone has fears, but a confident person knows when to face them.

The Real

All of this leads up to completely knowing yourself, and realizing who you are. Your faults are you, your mistakes are you, your strengths are you, and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change that you are who you are here and now. You can change later, but now is what matters and now is what you must accept. Learning to program each of these traits into your subconscious is hard, trust me, I’ve done it. You have to have the Megingjord and the Járngreipr to have the strength to heft the mighty Mjolnir. And it begins with simple steps.

The First Stone – Self~Confidence

How do we rebuild our confidence? Rebuild? I never had it. Yes you did. As a child you learned to walk, and to do so, you had to fall and fail hundreds if times before you finally gained the abilities to do it. You had confidence in your body, and because you did, you were able to learn the most complicated of human actions. Now, you are so confident you can walk, that you don’t even think about it. Just as your personality affects your behavior, your behavior affects your personality. We want to translate this confidence to other areas of our lives, and we do it the same way as learning to walk. Over and over.

Plains of Asgard

First, we must work on the physical aspects (Megingjord):

• Practice standing straight up against a wall, head straight, so that your body is completely erect.
• Hold eye contact with every person you talk to, go to the mall and introduce yourself to 10 people. Shake their hands and hold eye contact as you speak. You don’t have to do anything more than offer your hand and say, “Hi, I’m -name-. What’s yours?” blah blah “That’s a nice name, well it was nice meeting you.”
• Practice walking broadly. I used old westerns as a model for myself. Walk sort of like a cowboy pulling up to a draw, except with out the major bowleggedness. Take long strides with your arms at your sides, not in your pockets. Do this in front of a mirror until you get the look you want, and then practice it in public. (Remember the aforementioned tips)

And now mental (Járngreipr):

• Write down your hobbies, and what you do for fun. Then write a paragraph on why you do that activity and what’s fun/enjoyable about it.
• Write down your quirks, habits (in speech and actions), and general emotions. Now write beside it, THIS IS ME. Remember that.
• Write your strengths. Then write a sentence as to why that strength is a strength and where it will get you in life. How will you use it? Then write your weaknesses, and write down why it is a weakness. What does it prohibit you from doing? Now under both of these lists, write THIS IS ME. Remember that.

**Note: Keep your lists for later, you’ll need them.